Around layer 33/34 you could probably make it more obvious that the cat made him drop his food. I didn't catch it my first time browsing the storyboard. Possibly have either a closer view, or a facial expression where he acknowledges that he dropped it and that makes him feel bad.
Not sure what happens in panel 108. It appears he trips over a dog and than the dog attacks him off screen? or at least that is the impression I get. However; if im correct, why is he next to a sleeping dog on panel 114. Dog is tired from attacking him I guess?
Overall, I feel that this story could use more reinforcement. It is hard to follow at times. For instance, why is he going into a dumpster at the very beginning. That is a strange and unhygienic thing to do. Maybe, have it where something of his is accidentally tossed into the dumpster (helps signify his bad luck) and from there his bad luck leads him into discovering the rabbit's foot. Unless the point of your story is that the rabbit's foot is what caused the chain of bad luck, not sure what you're going for in that exact regard.
I guess the best way to put it is: I feel that your animation needs the viewer to know the story beforehand, either by reading it or you telling them about it to comfortably follow along.. Visually, on its own, it is hard to follow. I can only somewhat follow it because I read your blog, and even than, you have made some changes.
Around layer 33/34 you could probably make it more obvious that the cat made him drop his food. I didn't catch it my first time browsing the storyboard. Possibly have either a closer view, or a facial expression where he acknowledges that he dropped it and that makes him feel bad.
ReplyDeleteNot sure what happens in panel 108. It appears he trips over a dog and than the dog attacks him off screen? or at least that is the impression I get. However; if im correct, why is he next to a sleeping dog on panel 114. Dog is tired from attacking him I guess?
Overall, I feel that this story could use more reinforcement. It is hard to follow at times. For instance, why is he going into a dumpster at the very beginning. That is a strange and unhygienic thing to do. Maybe, have it where something of his is accidentally tossed into the dumpster (helps signify his bad luck) and from there his bad luck leads him into discovering the rabbit's foot. Unless the point of your story is that the rabbit's foot is what caused the chain of bad luck, not sure what you're going for in that exact regard.
I guess the best way to put it is: I feel that your animation needs the viewer to know the story beforehand, either by reading it or you telling them about it to comfortably follow along.. Visually, on its own, it is hard to follow. I can only somewhat follow it because I read your blog, and even than, you have made some changes.