*Revised*
Story Outline
(Revised)
Act I
In the dumps…
- Bland, a homeless, dirty, and hungry kid, stands in front of a
store and pulls out his pockets, revealing no money
-
He sits down, miserable and depressed until he
smells something
-
Turning around, he sees a garbage bin and goes
over and climbs into it
-
Fishing through the bin, he finds a sandwich
-
He quickly discovers a rabbit’s foot underneath
the sandwich and grabs it
-
Holding both the rabbit’s foot and sandwich, he
hops down from the bin
-
He takes a bite from the sandwich
-
A black cat walks up to him and sits, staring up
at him
-
After a brief exchange, the cat tries to come
close to Bland and he freaks out believing the cat will bring him bad luck
-
He tosses his sandwich down in a panic and soon
realizes the fact as the cat comes close towards him again
-
He tries to pick up the sandwich, but is swatted
swatted away by the cat
-
Sucking on his cut hand, he gasps as the cat
takes off with his sandwich
-
He rubs the rabbit’s foot and gives chase
Act II
Bland Luck
-
Coming to a vacant lot between buildings of the
city, Bland confronts the cat which is perched atop a small building
-
Bland points to the cat and then to the ground
to instruct it to come down
-
The cat leaps down from the building, but not
before knocking a nearby pale of water down
-
The pale clashes atop Bland’s head
-
After taking the bucker off his head, Bland vigorously
rubs the rabbit’s foot again and smiles contently at it and then deviously at
the cat
-
He resumes his pursuit of the cat and nearly
closes down on it, only to trip over a sleeping bloodhound
-
The fierce dog rises up above a dazed Bland and
bares its teeth
-
The cat watches the pummeling and winches at the
tense fight
-
Afterwards, Bland is beaten and battered as the
dog returns to sleep
Act III
Paint-ful Lesson
-
Bland continues to stagger after the cat
-
He comes to a ladder and is about to walk under
it, but realizes what he’s doing and scurries back out from under it and walks
around it
-
He approaches the feline and looks to the rabbit’s
foot once more
-
He kisses the rabbit’s foot and makes a
desperate lunge at the startled cat
-
The cat is caught and Bland grins wickedly at it
-
Just before Bland can exact any revenge, a paint
bucket from the building next to him (which has “Caution: Wet Paint” written on
the side, comes falling down, splashing over his head
-
The cat frees itself
-
Bland takes bucket off head with miserable look
on face
-
He looks to the rabbit’s foot, grows angry, and
slams the rabbit’s foot to the paint-stained ground
-
He stomps on the foot and slips
-
He lands on his back and the rabbit’s foot lands
on his forehead
-
He stares grimly at the foot then decides to
pass out
The End
Written Treatment
Act 1
In the dumps…
One sunny afternoon, a homeless boy by the name of Bland
walks up to a dumpster in a vacant lot just behind a store. He hoists himself inside the bin and begins
fishing around for something to eat. He
happens to find a partially-eaten sandwich, which he raises up with happy
delight. As he eyes the sandwich, he
notices something that was under the sandwich: a rabbit’s foot. Being a boy who believes in good luck, having
a four-leaf clover already placed on his right ear, Bland swoops down quickly
and grabs the rabbit’s foot. With a
pleased expression crossing his face, he leaps down from the garbage bin and
happily chews the sandwich. As he
munches the meal, a black cat strolls up to him. The cat sits by him, staring intently up at
him. He realizes that the cat could
bring him bad luck and instantly retracts as the cat tries to rub up against
him. As he tries avoiding the cat, he loses
his grip on his sandwich, which falls to the ground. The cat purrs at him from a distance and he
realizes that his sandwich is on the ground.
He reaches for it, but the cat swats his hand away. He yelps in pain and sucks on his cut hand. He gasps when he sees the cat rushing off
with his sandwich. He looks at his
rabbit’s foot and rubs it with his thumb.
He grins wickedly and decides to give chase to the cat.
Act II
Bland Luck
Bland corners the cat in another vacant lot. The cat sits atop a small building perch
along with a pale of water. Bland stands
with his fists on his hips and stares fiercely at the cat. He points up at the cat and then down to the
ground, instructing it to come down to him.
The cat jumps down off the perch, knocking over the bucket of water
which falls atop Bland’s head. The cat
lands on the ground and looks back at Bland who proceeds to remove the bucket
from his head. Somewhat perturbed, Bland
eyes the cat and then the rabbit’s foot.
He angrily and vigorously rubs the foot and smiles contently at the
ruffled paw. He grins deviously at the
cat and takes off after it. He closes in
on the fleeing feline. Suddenly, he
trips over a sleeping bloodhound. The
awakened dog growls fiercely at a shaken up Bland. He peers up at the ferocious canine and is
soon pummeled which has the black cat wincing from the mighty beat-down the dog
gives Bland. The cat turns and walks off
with the sandwich still in its mouth.
Bland is beaten and battered as the dog returns to sleep.
Act III
Paint-ful Lesson
Bland staggers after the cat and comes to an area where
buildings are being painted. He starts
to stagger under a ladder and realizes what he’s doing. He stumbles back out from under the ladder
and walks around it. He creeps up to the
cat, which happens to have stopped to clean itself. Bland comes closer and lunges at the startled
cat. The cat is caught in his grip and
hoisted off the ground. Bland smiles
wickedly at the captured animal. Before
he can exact any revenge, a paint bucket topple down from the nearby building
and lands on his head. The cat breaks
free of his grip and takes off. Bland
removes the bucket with a grim look on his face. He looks to the rabbit’s foot once more and
becomes infuriated. He slams the foot
down and stomps on it. He slips on the
paint-covered ground and lands on his back.
The rabbit’s foot falls down and lands between his eyes. He stares at it grimly before passing out.
I like the concept of bad luck/good luck, and the ending is good with his plan to happily pursue the girl being interrupted by the menace of the rabbit's foot. One thing you could possibly alter is the whole dog and the bone subplot. I feel that it is too out of place compared to the rest of the story because it doesn't necessarily involve the act of luck. It kinda dampers the flow of the story. It is hard thinking of an alternate story, but I think it's worth it to try
ReplyDeleteWhat if, after all of these bad events happen to him. He gives up and sadly sits down wallowing in despair. Suddenly, he see's a girl, a girl who is giving him flirty looks. Despite all of his recent shortcomings, he pursues success one more time and approaches her. While walking towards her he trips and pushes her into a puddle mud.
My idea isn't that good, but just throwing it out there.